Death was not too frightening for Pam but she was cross that it was to take her from the people she loved. She was cross that she would not see her grandchildren grow up and cross they would not know her. Mum - This site is so that your many grandchildren can find out a little more about you as they grow older.
Thank you for being a wonderful and dedicated mum.
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Mum's mum enjoyed writing poetry and here is a good example:
London's Suburbs
Look right and look left as you halt at the kerb here,
Salute to the pattern of London's suburbia!
All hail to these tree-lined trim, grass verged highways
Maintained by the council on alternate Fridays,
Salute to our three-bedroomed space-saving boxes,
Our country 'town-houses' - brick built paradoxes.
Is this then the 20th century look.
This the direction that history took?
Four acres per cottage - Elizabeth's order,
(Can we imagine a more gracious border?)
That were a green belt exceedingly pretty
Here on the outskirts of England's chief city.
Alas! Speculators had plotted to fence it
Anonymous deserts of streets were created
Nothing designed and nothing related.
Vanished the legacy Inigo left us
Gone is the spirit of Wren to direct us.
Oh, to go back to the satellite village,
Back to the meadow, the farms and the tillage,
Back to the 'Hall' and the Green and the smithy,
To the days of 'Gadzooks', 'I faith sir' and 'Prithee'
Back to the homes built to live, love and be in
Not just to sleep in or just watch TV in.
Useless to grumble, our fears come too late
Progress is marching at too fast a rate
'Here to continual gardens' wrote Stow
Continual houses are all that we know.
Mum wrote a lovingly detailed booklet about St. Anselm's Church, Hatch End, as a celebration of its centenary.
It has sections on the origins of the church and the local history of the surrounding area. There is a review of the interior of the church including the Rood Screen, the Windows and the Organ, plus an account of the life and work of St. Anselm.
Mum became ill whilst writing the booklet and, despite a major operation and further treatment, she made sure she completed it. Although she did not live to see a published copy, its existence is a testemony to her spirit and determination.
The Foreword is written by The then Archbishop of York, Dr David Hope and he wrote as follows:
'Those expecting no more than the usual 'Parish Church Guide' will be surprised - but by no means disappointed - to find that Pamela Davies has cast her net into a wider sea. She tells the story, not only of the church, but of Hatch End itself, from the days when all was dense woodland, to the present. Although, happily, still not without its trees and a strong sense of its own identity, the 'village' now struggles to fend off the advances of suburbia.
The Church itself is given loving and sensitive treatment and the reader is greatly helped by an extensive overview of the life and times of that great Saint and Archbishop, Anselm himself, to whom it is dedicated.
All in all, this is a book which visitors and 'locals' alike will value and enjoy'
When and where were you born? How much did you weigh at birth?,
I was born on 24th January 1943, just in time for tea at my maternal grandmother's house, 21 Kelmscot Close Watford. Weight unknown.
Do you know whether it was an easy birth for your mother?
No, but I imagine it was straightforward as it was in Granny's house but I know that I was born with the cord around my neck.
How old were your parents when you were born?
My mother was twenty eight and my father thirty one.
Why were you given your first names?
Unfortunately I never discussed this with them
Where did you live? Did you move house when you were young?
I lived at 23 Parkfield Crescent, North Harrow until 1956 when we moved to 506 Uxbridge Road, Hatch End.
During the years at Parkfield Crescent we lived next door to the Bragg family - Diana Bourne. Our parents were good friends.
What sort of building was it? Did it have a garden? How many rooms were there? Did you have a room of your own?
My first home was a semi-detached house which was new when my parents moved into it. They were married in 1939 and lived in Bournemouth for a while during the war. They laid out the garden which was long and thin and your Great Grandad kept chickens and ducks at the bottom. We ate them occasionally. Our second home had a long but wider garden although some years later the end was 'sold off'. I had my own small bedroom and we had a garden room study..
What are your earliest memories?
My earliest recollection was when I was four. Ian, at the age of two, fell out of the car whilst we were driving along. Thankfully cars went more slowly in those days and there were not many of them., so he was unhurt. At the time I was sitting on the backseat next to Granny and Ian was the other side of her. He must have been fiddling with the door handle. My poor parents - what a terrible shock.
Did you have any favourite toys? What games did you play at home? Did you have any hobbies? Did you have a bicycle? How old where you when you learned to ride it?
I had a scooter and a doll called Susan which Granny gave me. The games I enjoyed were skipping and hopscotch, cats cradle, inventing puppet shows and organising a little club- 'The put-em rights' based on an Enid Blyton story. I had a bicycle and used to go out for day trips with a girl friend at the age of thirteen to places like Letchmore Heath. I cycled to school each day along the Uxbridge Road to Harrow WealdCounty
Did you receive regular pocket money? From what age? Did you have to do jobs to earn it? How much did you receive and what did you spend it on? Can you remember the prices of any of the things you used to buy?
I cannot remember whether I had pocket money or not. Possibly I was given a small amount. I remember sweets coming off the ration when I was seven - 1950 or thereabouts. For 3d. you could buy an ice cream cornet or a chocolate wagon wheel.
Did you have parties on your birthdays? Do you have any memories of Christmas Day?
I always had parties on my birthday with friends who lived along the road being invited. As I got older, these were replaced by school friends, girls only - even at the age of fourteen/fifteen. Christmas Day was always shared with the Rutherfords who lived at Hendon (Dorothy and George). We played lots of games and had indoor fireworks.
Do you remember any holidays or outings you went on when you were young? How did you travel? What were your favourite places.?
We enjoyed the annual Sunday School outing to the Chorleywood Memorial Hall. Games were played on the Common and tea was eaten in the Hall. We travelled there by train. Family holidays were to WTA centres (Workers Travel Association later changed to World Travel Association). Plenty of walks, climbs, competitions and fish paste sandwiches are what I remember.
What other memories do you have of your early family life?
My mother encouraged me to be creative. We put on theatrical performances in the back garden, inviting all the neighbours. She also tried to teach me to play the piano but very regrettably I did not practise and failed to progress. In my teens I played tennis and we had badminton parties on the lawn. My father was particularly good at tennis and table tennis and badminton.
Please describe your first school. How old were you when you first went there? What do you remember about the place and the teachers?
My first school was Pinner Park Primary which I attended from age five. I particularly enjoyed percussion lessons and was keen to gain stars for my work. I remember naughty children having to stand in the corner. Two of my friends were exchanging watches during the lesson and were smacked in front of the class.
What did you most enjoy about it?
Good friends and solid basic teaching which gave me a strong foundation for further education. Plenty of imaginative games in the playground. We all had a bottle of milk at breaktime and hot dinners.
Where did you go to secondary school?
Harrow Weald County, Brookshill which later became a tertiary college.
How did you travel there?
I cycled each day about two miles and kept my bicycle in the school sheds.
Were there any subjects you disliked?
Geography, although I am not sure why. Perhaps it was the teacher. I was not keen on Physics and Chemistry. Our Chemistry teacher was known as Boris, was completely incomprehensible and most of the boys were sent out to the corridor each lesson. A complete disgrace - he should have been sacked.
Which subjects did you enjoy most and which did you do best at? How much homework were you given?
My favourite subjects were English, French, German and Biology. I also enjoyed History although I do not remember as much as I should. We were given two or three subjects each night and were expected to spend forty minutes on each subject - weekends more.
What public examinations did you take and how did you do in them?
I took my eleven plus examination and passed. I went to Harrow Weald County Grammar School which is now a sixth form college (tertiary). I passed eight G.C.E.'s at "O" level and one "A" level - French, which was rather a disgrace. I did not work hard enough. My other subjects which I just failed were German and Latin.
Did you enjoy music and singing? Can you play any musical instrument?
I enjoyed music, both playing the violin and singing in the school choir. I had violin lessons at school and later joined the school orchestra. My violin is still in the loft.
Were you good at sports? Which ones did you play?
I played netball, tennis,table tennis and hockey. I usually played shooter at netball as I was tall and left wing at hockey as I was tall and could run fast. I used to enjoy tennis until a new teacher persuaded me to change my style at serving and after that it was never so good.
Did you make any close friends at school? Did you keep in touch with them after leaving?
I made several close friends and have kept in touch with about six of them. - one from primary school, Ruth Rimmer who is godmother to Sally, also Linda Panniset who lives in Australia and is also godmother to Sally. There is also Diana Jones at Berkhampsted, Barbara Jones at Leeds and Bronwen Taylor who I have recently picked up correspondance with (1997)
Did you have a part time job whilst still at school?
Only in the sixth form when I worked on Saturdays in Boots the chemists in Hatch End. I earned £1 for working from 9 am until 4 pm with 1 hour for lunch.
How old were you when you left school? Did you know what you wanted to do in life?
I was eighteen when I left school and I was not at all certain what I wanted to do. There was not a lot of help available at that time (1960) in choosing careers. I considered teaching and a course in hotel administration but finally decided on a bi-lingual secretarial course.
Did you go on to further education? What did you study?
I went to the City of London College and had to have a special interview as I only had one A level instead of the required two. Fortunately I passed and studied shorthand and typewriting in French and German as well as in English. Accountancy also came into the course as well as learning to be well brought up young ladies.
Why did you choose this subject? Did you gain any qualifications?
I had always enjoyed languages, probably because I was good at them. This particular course was difficult with a lot to be covered in one year. At the end I received a diploma. I found it strange being in an "all women environment" as my education up till then had only been in co-educational establishments. I remember finding giggling girls infuriating.
Did you make any lifelong friends there?
I have kept in touch with only one friend from college - Maureen Maddren. We have only kept in touch with Christmas cards until recently when I talked to her about publishing the church booklet I have been assembling. She has a family printing business.
What was your first full time job? Where were you employed?
My first and last full time job was with Thomas De La Rue & Co in Moorgate. I was employed as secretary to the Public Relations manager. I believed, because it was a French company that I would have a good opportunity of using my French. However, this was not so!
How much were you paid? How much money was left after you had paid for board and lodging?
I was paid £12 per week and since I was living at home and my parents did not ask me to contribute to my board and lodging I was able to save several pounds a week.
How did you travel to and from work?
I travelled by train from Pinner Station straight through to the City. I was not a very punctual person and often found myself running for the train.
What hours did you work?
As far as I remember my hours were 9 am to 5.30 pm - but it was possibly 5 pm.
How long did you stay in your first job?
The Public Relations Department was closed and I went to work for the Engineering Director temporarily and after that for the Personnel and Training Department.
What was your main occupation during your working life?
My main occupation in the Personnel Department was to organise training courses for groups of new employees to the company. I found this very interesting because the work involved being with people as well as just secretarial duties which I found tedious at times.
Did you find your work fulfilling?
To some extent I found the work fulfilling but as I left to get married eighteen months after joining the company I did not really have long enough to assess the full possibilities of this job.
Can you remember the first clothes you bought with your own money?
I believe they were a rather dull brown jumper and a pleated skirt but I thought they were marvellous.
Did you smoke when you were young?
No. I reluctantly tried, literally, one puff of Malcolm Whitfield's cigarette.
How old were you when you first went to a Pub?
Aged thirty-two.
Do you remember visiting theatre when you were young? What did you go to see?
I remember visiting the Open Air Theatre in Regents Park to see 'A Midsummer Night Dream' I also used to go to Orchestral Concerts at the Granada cinema in Harrow.
What was your favourite form of entertainment? Who was your favourite singer? Actor? Actress? Filmstar?
The actor Dirk Bogarde - a film star. I don't think I had a favourite singer but I remember with pleasure the voice of Kathleen Ferrier.
When did you go on your first date? Who was it with and where did you go?
The day before my sixteenth birthday. It was to the cinema with a boy who lived in Moss Lane, Pinner
As a teenager did you have your own transport?
Apart from my bicycle, no. I was allowed to drive my father's car when I passed the driving test aged seventeen.
Have you generally enjoyed good health? Have you ever had any serious illnesses? How old were you and how long were you unwell?
I have generally enjoyed very good health with no serious illnesses, until now. I had a small benign breast tumour removed when I was thirty but that has been all until I developed bowel cancer last year.
Have you ever had to go to hospital because of an accident? How old where you and what happened?
No. I was very lucky.
Have you ever broken any bones? How did they get broken?
No!
Did any of these events interfere with your education or work?
I did suffer from back problems over many years. I think it started from when I fed Joanna perched on the end of a bed instead of having a proper support. It is very important to look after one's back. I also suffered from 'Repetitive Strain Injury' on my right wrist - again the same advice; look after yourself and get a proper diagnosis - don't guess.
Did you do any regular exercise or sports to keep fit?
I have done regular dog walking in recent years and have needed to do back exercises because of back pain I have suffered for twenty years.
How old were you during the Second World War? Do you remember anything about it? Were you evacuated?
As I was born in 1943, I obviously do not remember anything about the war.
How did the war interfere with daily life? (Please write what your parents told you if you were to young to remember.)
My parents went off to live in Bournemouth for two years to get away from the more dangerous London area. However, they saw a V1, or Doodlebug, come down very close to their home in Parkfield Crescent before they left. They took me down into the shelter for safety.
Were you ever in the armed forces? Why? Which service did you join and how long did you serve? Did you see service overseas?
No. My father, Grandad Green, signed up for the forces but because he suffered from an ear complication (burst eardrum) he was not accepted.
How did you first meet? How old were you? What were you both doing at that time?
Your grandfather and I first met in April 1962 at Pinner, Moss Lane, Tennis Club. He had joined to find a wife but I had joined to play tennis! In fact when someone told me the club was a marriage bureau, I was very scornful.
What was your first impression of each other?
My impressions were mixed. My first vision of your grandfather was of him playing tennis, rather flatfooted and wearing long floppy shorts. However, off court, I changed my mind very quickly and found him attractive, unusual and very interesting to talk to. In fact, I think, it was almost love at first sight!
We discovered we had been to the same school. He invited me out to the Planetarium as he had never been there!
How long were you going out together before you became engaged?
We went out for one year.
Were you still living with your parents? How did your parents greet the news of your engagement?
Yes, at 506, Uxbridge Road, Hatch End. Mostly with delight. However, my mother had a few inhibitions. These were mainly because he was thirty -two and to have got to that age (in those days) without being married suggested you might be a difficult person!
She thought that perhaps he might not settle down to married life and that he may have been spoilt by his mother! My father thought he spent too long working at building Polybags up.
How long was your engagement?
We were engaged also for one year.
What was the date of your wedding? How old were you when you got married?
11th April 1964. Twenty-one
Where did the ceremony take place
S. Anselm's Church, Hatch End.
What did you wear on your wedding day? Who was your best man? Who was your bridesmaid?
A full length white lace dress with a veil. Our best man was Philip, your grandfather's brother. My bridesmaids were Diana Bragg (now the Reverend Diana Bourne) and my cousin Valerie Peake from Maidenhead. Their family business, a men's clothing shop, is now run by their son Malcolm. Valerie now lives in New Zealand.
How many guests came? Did you have a reception? Where was it held?
We had eighty guests at our reception which was held at the Kenton Rest Hotel
Do you still have any of the presents you received?
We still have a Hoover steam iron, although it is kept now for emergency use only! We have a metal tea service, a blanket, pieces of cut glass, including a decanter, a set of whisky glasses and a soup tureen from Mr. & Mrs. Merlyn Rees, who later became Lord Merlyn Rees.
Were you able to afford a honeymoon?
Yes, we were very fortunate to be able to go abroad. We took our car to France and travelled to Germany calling on a friend in Cologne and then to Amsterdam to a packaging exhibition! Business came first even on our honeymoon.
Where was your first home together? Can you describe it?
Our first home was at 1 Broadmead Close, Hatch End which we still own (1998). It is a small semi-detached corner house built on the Pinner Park Estate in the 'thirties' which were built to rent initially. They were therefore well built and in fact in the last few yrears the estate has been elevated in its status to a conservation area.
Why did you choose to live were you did?
As your grandad and I both came from Hatch End we knew it well and it held a number of attractions for us. In the early 1960's, Hatch End still had very much of a village atmosphere so it was pleasant yet convenient for London. It was near Wembley which was where Polybags had moved to after its origin in the back of a sweetshop in Hatch End. Also of course our family were there and we felt it was nice to be near them.
How much did you earn in the early years of your marriage? Did it seem hard to make ends meet?
Earnings were uncertain. It is difficult to work out exactly what they were but we both had savings. Many of the household items we started of with were second hand.
Can you remember the prices of some of the things you used to buy regularly?
Weekend joint of beef Price then £1 Price now £8
Loaf bread Price then 1 shilling Price now 65pence
Icecream cornet Price then 3d Price now 85pence
Where and when were your children born? What were their names? What did they weigh at birth?
Joanna Clare 3.10.65 Bushey 7lb 6oz
Sally Maria 14.5 67 Edgware 8lb 1oz
Jonathan Walter 1.5 70 Bushey 9lb 8oz
Philip Walter 29…5.73 Bushey
Where did the children go to school? What did they do best at?
Joanna started at the local state school, Grimsdyke, which is where your Grandfather went. However, in the early 'seventies' there was a trend for mixing age groups and for informal teaching. When she was seven, she spent some afternoons playing with sand and water with five year olds. So we entered her for Haberdashers' Aske's school examination and she passed. Eventually all four children went to Haberdashers', the other three after going to a private preparatory school first. When they started the fees were about £70 per term.
Where did you go on holiday when the children were young?
We went to a number of different places; the Isle of Wight, Bognor Regis, Norfolk, Fairbourne in North Wales where the Beloks' had a holiday home, the Crieff Hydro several times where there were sports competitions; also Marlborough summer school courses on two occasions. So our holidays were mainly taken in this country but we went twice to Majorca once camping in the south of France (1976) the year of a heatwave in Britain!
Did you have any difficult times when the family was growing up?
Both our mothers' died when our family was very young. Mum Davies died in 1969 and my mother eighteen months later when Joanna was five, Sally three and Jonathan six months. Philip, of course, was not born. Philip had to have an operation when he was four for an undescended testicle and Sally had an accident with her small finger on her left hand. I shut the car door on it. This was a traumatic experience. Jonathan had a broken arm and one or two injuries in rugby matches. Philip suffered from childhood asthma.
But of course what totally overshadowed all the 'difficult' times of the children growing up was the appalling and overwhelming tragedy of the death of dearest Philip at the age of twenty-one. He died in his lodgings at Birmingham University on March 18th 1995 after taking a drug (diamorphine) in the Guild. He was found by his flatmates dead in bed sometime during the Saturday. A friend was later convicted of supplying the drug to Philip and he was sent to prison for five years. We had no idea that Philip was taking drugs except for cannabis.
Did you have any time for hobbies and what are your happiest memories?
There was not a lot of time but I enjoyed skiiing holidays, tennis occasionally, French classes and gardening. In the very early days I belonged to the local amateur operatic society and sang occasionally in the Pinner choir. Our happiest memories were activities when the children were together, Christmas, holidays etc. Times when they were taking part in school functions, the Sunday School and when we saw their success and happiness. Occasions like the Queen's Jubilee Hillview Road Street Party which was held in fancy dress - most of all love and humour and enthusiasm for life which we were all so fortunate to have.
What did you enjoy doing together?
Our activities were often connected with Polybags. We used to have days which involved calling on customers or making deliveries. We had a house at Worthing where we spent time and this enabled us to call on another company which we owned close by. We played tennis together and occasionally Badminton. Although we both enjoyed gardening we did not always see eye to eye but we learnt from our differences.
What was your father's name and date of birth and where was he born
Cecil Edgar Green. Born 5th February 1911 in St Albans, Herts.
Please describe his appearance. What was his occupation? What were his hobbies and interests?
Tall and slim: He lost his hair at quite an early age. Strong features - rather distinguished in appearance. He was a Chartered Accountant with the Board of Trade. His hobbies were very sport orientated - tennis, table tennis, football, badminton, fishing and bowls! When young he had a motor bike and loved cycling.
Did he serve in the armed forces?
No, because he had a perforated eardrum so was declared medically unfit!
What do you remember best about him?
I remember him best as a dear father, wonderful husband to dearest Mum and a marvellous grandparent (the only one) who gave us unending support and love. He was a man of honour and of integrity and of social conscience. He was loved and admired by many.
What was your mother's maiden name? What was her date of birth and where was she born?
Phyllis Elgitha Golding. Born 6th March 1914
Please describe her appearance. What were her pastimes and interests? Was she a good cook?
She was about 5ft 5ins and darkish hair, sparkly eyes and lovely legs. She wore glasses. She was good at lots of things. She played the piano, wrote poetry and sketches, loved reading, especially biographies and liked gardening, hiking and cycling. She was not especially good at cooking but mainly because she rushed it!
What was her occupation before marriage?
She worked in a bank. She was considered very clever at school (Watford Grammar) and her headmistress wanted her to go to university but she had to leave at sixteen and go out to earn an income.
What do you remember best about her?
I remember her joviality, courage, particularly in her illness, her love of children and her great ability at teaching. I remember her love and great support for her family. I remember how she always spoke her mind and her strong opinions but also her hidden lack of confidence.
What were their names? When and where were they born? What were their occupations? How old were they when they died?
Your father's father
Ernest William Green, born April 12th 1879 in Martham, Norfolk. City librarian in St Alban's. Dedicated to it - not much time for his six children. Hobbies: local history, gardening, angling, painting. Died day after retirement, April 1st 1947 Buried st Albans cemetary, Hatfield.
Your father's mother
Kate Norman Reeve born July 9th 1881 in Great Yarmouth, Norfolk She had a very good singing voice. Sang in church choir with her future husband. Very calm lady, never shouted:always there when the children came home. Died October 8th in St Albans. Pulmonary embolism.
Your mother's father
Herbert Golding. We believe he went of to fight in 2nd Boer War at age of sixteen. Died at age of thirty-two in 1918 after suffering the effects of gas while in the trenches. Loved poetry. Used to carry poetry books around in his pocket while away at war. Buried in W. Watford cemetery.
Your mother's mother
Elsie Alice Clayden. Born May 11th 1885 in Steeple Bumpstead. Lived at 21 Kelmscott Close, West Watford backing on to railway line. I used to love visiting her. Wonderful orchard garden, loved cooking. Rejected further offers of marriage in case it was not in my mother's best interests.
Became confirmed in her forties.
What were the names of your brothers and sisters? Where and when were they born?
Ian Colin Green. Born 29th December 1944. In a Nursing home on the corner of Headstone Lane and Parkfield Avenue, North Harrow.
What do you particularly remember about him from you childhood?
I remember being somewhat dictatorial towards him, probably because he was younger and my only sibling. He was shy at times and very nervous about going swimming. We enjoyed the ducks at the bottom of the garden and playing dressing up games. We especially liked charades. He had to have an eye operation when he was four which worried me - I thought he was brave. Later on when we went to separate schools, he became more independent but he still tended to tell me secrets.
What is your strongest memory of him in adult life?
Ian developed in one or two ways which I would not have expected. He became very keen and very good at amateur dramatics, while at the same time being lacking in self confidence. He would not discuss things with Dad - things of an important nature like change of job etc. when I would have felt he would have preferred to. I have always felt close to him and been glad that we have lived near so that our children could grow up knowing each other well
Have you met any famous people?
I have met the Archbishop of York through his connections with the Revd. Clive Pearce and our Holy Land tour in 1995 which he led and subsequently agreed to write a foreword for the St Anselm's booklet. I knew Merlyn Rees (later Lord Merlyn Rees) through Harrow Weald County where he taught me - Geoff marked examinations with him and he and Colleen came to our wedding. There are two people connected with the theatre - Alec McCowan and I was also introduced to Alan Ayckbourn at Scarborough with Ruth and John Winter (play in memory of Sophie)
Have you personally witnessed any exciting historical events?
Geoff and I watched the moon landings together rushing from the television and then into the garden to see what we could see outside! I forget the exact date but it was about January 1969 It was a very exciting and magical moment - a man on the moon! Completely unreal
What is the one thing you would most like to do during the next twelve months?
I should like to get my Church Booklet finished and published. I am writing this in May 1998 when I am seriously ill so that of course the main thing would be to survive, if that is possible.
What is the most exciting thing that's ever happened to you?
I cannot answer this with one statement. Giving birth was undoubtedly one of the most exciting events. The first time I skied down from the top of a mountain was another. Renewing my marriage vows in Cana with the Archbishop of York was a most uplifting and emotional experience. It was also a joy to attend the enthronement of Edwin in Westminster Abbey as Bishop of Richborough and Diana Bourne's ordination
What has given you the most happiness in your life?
Having a family of which I can be justifiably proud. This seems the only place where I can write of the pride and enormous comfort taken by all our friends and relatives following the death of Philip. We completely overcome by the kindness and love we received - an unforgettable experience.
What is the funniest thing that's ever happened to you?
When I think of funny/strange things there is an event which comes to mind. My great grand parents owned the village bakery in Steeple Bumpstead, Essex - a very small village. We discovered that Geoffrey's grandmother of the name of Amey also came from the same small village. Could we be related from the past? Last year, 1997, we found that the house that the Clayden family lived in, Logie still stands & behind it still stands the smokey bakery/garage! I took photos.
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
I was brought up to feel proud of being English and I do not think I could imagine wanting to live anywhere else other than in this country.
Which country would you most like to visit? Why would you like to go there?
Canada. It is a country with spectacular scenery, great variety and appeals as having a gentleness about it. My cousin Jill lives there and it would be nice to visit her.
What is the best piece of advice you ever received
A prayer called Praying Hands by Albrecht Durer
God
Grant me the serenity to accept
The things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And wisdom to know the difference
What is the best present you were ever given?
This is a difficult question to answer - it depends on the particular time of one's life. I remember a wonderful doll from my grandmother, a globe from Geoff and later a poetry book. A microwaveable hot water bottle was also a 'Best'
If you could choose any occupation for just one day, what would you choose?
If I had been asked this question a few years ago, I would have said an M.P. but now the goings on of Parliament are televised, I do not find it so intriguing. I think therefore, I would choose to be a judge. I find the law very interesting. In some ways it holds similarities to the drama of the House of Commons.
This book was completed on June 1998
Birth came to Pam 24th January 1943. She was, I suppose, a war baby. Her parents married in 1939. As a civil servant her father was sent to work on the South Coast but Pam was born at 21 Kelmscott Close, Watford in her grandmother's house. Pam loved her grandmother. She was a widow. Her husband died from the effects of poison gas in 1918. He had a military funeral with flags and a band, which his wife hated. He is buried in a cemetery near Watford Football ground with a headstone, which the army was still maintaining in the ' 80's. He is sharing his grave however, with an unknown woman. Many graves are leased only from the local authorities who reserve the right to make full use of them in time.
Some of the earliest memories Pam told me about were visits to her grandmother. She went to and fro on the train. Her grandmother waited at the end of the garden to see her go past in the train that ran along the line at the end of her grandmother's garden. Grandmother had lodgers. She never remarried. Bodger was a lodger. I may have mis-remembered his name. When Pam and I went with her father in the '80's to see her grandfather's grave we met someone in a local church who remembered Bodger. Even Pam described her grandmother as dominating. But Pam loved her.
Pamela's mother, Phyllis was perhaps not an easy woman to live with. The only child of her mother, born at the start of the First World War, she hardly remembered her father. She did have recollections of his funeral. A clever girl, there were ideas of University after Watford Grammar, but she left school at sixteen and worked as a clerk in the Post Office Savings Bank's head office. A main road, blandly ugly building, positioned on the edge of Earls Court & Kensington. I often think of her when I drive past. She died from cancer in Mount Vernon Hospital. She was 56. The hospital telephoned her husband to say she was near death. A neighbour took the message and failed to pass it on. She died alone.
Their first child Joanna Clare Phyllis is born
Sally Maria is born at Bushey Maternity Hospital
Jonathan is born on May Day - Pamela almost gives birth on the way to Bushey Maternity
Philip is born, our third month of May child.
Pamela Lee remembers that Pam in one odd way was risk taking. She would, for a dinner party, prepare a dish she had not made before. The cautious approach would be to repeat an old favourite. Pamela remembers the chocolate roulade Pam prepared for the first time. She says it was superb. Before we were married I had assumed that Pam would be as bad a cook as her mother. In fact, she was very good. Her mother would have been able to cook well. She just could not arouse interest in cooking. Other domestic skills did not interest her. If wrapped her Christmas presents were badly wrapped. After her death and her husband's retirement I noticed how the floors became highly polished.
Once when we were on holiday we arrived late at a Spanish Hotel and she persuaded them to let us have some Parma ham and then, later, made a fuss about payment saying we were entitled to a meal that evening. I cannot tell now who won the argument. In a Dublin hotel, water dripped from the ceiling and damaged Pam's bag. She successfully asked them to compensate her. These two events are not typical of Pam. I remember them only in that they are unusual. She was not aggressive. Normally she was only too eager to co-operative. She was very law abiding
At our wedding reception, the guests were assembled, seated in a hollow square round the outside of the dining room. Pam and I came in last to applause. Pam hunched her shoulders and part ran. She was embarrassed.
In 1976 we holidayed in a couple of campsites in Southern France with the Gallachers. Pam sent Jonathan (who was only six) to buy some chips. He came back with what she felt were too few. Pam went down to the flare lit stall and harangued the keeper in French, after pushing her way to the front of a crowd. I cowered at the back. I was very proud of her. My recollection is that Philip was with Jonathan. Is that possible? He was only three. It was a dark warm evening. One that is rare in England and common in the Mediterranean summer.
We've had some really nice thoughts sent in to mum's site.
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to do this.
It's 8pm and Tommy has just woken up with a nightmare. He's got red cheeks, tears and is wondering around upstairs, crying.
'I don't want to go to Heaven, I don't know what it's like' he manages to blurt out.
'You're not going to heaven, You're staying here' I say, cuddling.
'Even when I'm a hundred, it's still sad' he replies back.
He's only just 5 but he's beginning to understand.
Today, the day after Pam's sixty-first birthday, I found a yellow rose in the garden. I picked it for her and put it in a mug on the window sill. The Winters have sent a card for her birthday. They write: Dear Geoff, We have so many beautiful memories of Pam. Our thoughts are always with you at this time of the year. Much love, Ruth and John.
When I met Pam her mother was a teacher at Reddiford School; a small private school in Pinner. With typical prickly pride and stubborn honesty she disliked donning an academic gown to impress the parents at Open Days. There is a hymn in which we ask God to forgive our Proud Hearts and Stubborn Wills. I do not think God will find them difficult to forgive. Pamela's mother never had a washing machine. All the washing was done by hand with a clean shirt every day for her husband. My mother had a washing machine in the thirties. A Canadian built, faded green Beatty. A tub containing big slowly revolving paddles with a wringer mounted above. I am not sure if the wringer was manually or electically powered. One filled it with hot water by bucket or a hose from the hot tap. Pam's mother sometimes used to cycle to my mother's house in Royston Park Road;. a big seven bed-roomed house. She thought the bicycle might embarrass my mother: a quite erroneous idea. My mother was born in Bethnal Green. Still, in the sixties, remembered as slums. She and her sisters disguised it as BG.
Pam's father first met his wife on the top of Snowdon. They were in separate groups and he took an address. When he called he was expecting a quite different girl. This story was not repeated often. Born in 1911, he was twenty- eight in 1939. War hurries some people into marriage. Others it discourages. A civil servant in a reserved occupation and suffering from some deafness, he remained a civil servant. Proud to be a civil servant it was nevertheless, for him, a matter of slight shame to be a civil servant 1939-1945. He retired at 60 and died fifteen years later.
Pam's father died in his Badminton shorts. Seated in the hall of St Edmunds, Northwood Hills, recording the results of his last game he was seen to have slumped over the table. By the time Pam and I arrived at Northwick Park Hospital he was dead. Pam said he would find it undignified to die in his sports clothes. I am not sure she is right in thinking that would distress him.
That was the day, on my way home from work, I drove past a pile up of three cars in Pinner Road. Number two had rammed number one and the third car had run into number two. The driver of one car, I noted casually, looked like Pam but she was in the passenger seat. Not until later did I discover it was Pam. That evening I had also noticed her father walking briskly along Hatch End Broadway towards the bus stop, looking, for him, a little dishevelled.
Pam lived until she was thirteen at twenty-three Parkfield Crescent, Headstone Road. Next door were the Braggs. Dianna a little younger than Pam became a woman priest, a curate at Pinner Parish church. Her mother could not understand the abandonment of a well paid job as a teacher at Haberdashers, for the Ministry. Dianna's brother became a major in the army until an accident in a hovercraft forced his early retirement. Twenty-three Parkfield was (and is) a typical thirties semi with a garden where her father in the war years and after kept chickens and ducks. His wife sent him out to kill them, which he found difficult. The Parkfield Tennis club was close. It foundered for lack of members or perhaps because the land could be sold for housing. The Green family, Pam and her father transferred their allegiance to the Moss Lane Tennis Club where I met Pam.
She was nineteen. I was thirty. By this time the Greens had moved to 506 Uxbridge Road, Hatch End. A detached red brick rectangular house without embellishment, a typical accountant's house. It is quite unrecognisable today. Beams have been painted onto the white washed walls. A porch added. It's position has been effectively changed. In 1956 it was almost a country lane. A ditch ran in front of the garden. I pleased Pam's mother by writing in the snow on the further bank of the ditch 'I like Pam'. One of the attractions of the house to them was the bus route outside. Nowadays the traffic streams past, the ditch has dissappeared.
Pam had golden hair at the tennis club. It was that which first attracted me in the early summer of sixty two. Pam was probably in her last term at the City of London College. A bi-lingual secretarial course it included classes on etiquette. Pam remembered this best. How to comport oneself when staying at one's employer's residence for example. Underwear should be discreetly unpacked.
The youth club at North Harrow Methodist church claimed much of her energy and allegiance. They put on shows, went on trips. She remarked on the disturbance when a youth leader playing popular music on the church organ was rebuked by another leader expostulating "This is the House of God." Pam was not sure where her sympathies lay.
She did not forget her first school, Pinner Park Primary. Her mother encouraged her to put on little theatrical performances in the back garden, inviting the neighbours. Pam was encouraged to play the piano but to her later regret did not persevere. Nevertheless she enjoyed playing percussion instruments and wanted to do well at school, earning stars. At some time she formed the "put em right club" and enlisted her friends. I expect her younger brother Ian, was the most reliable member. The aim of the club was to do right and reform the world.
Pam was brought up in a better world than we provide for children in the twenty first century. She says she did not go in a pub until she was thirty two. I do not think that is quite true. I think she and I once went to the Case is Altered in Old Redding before we were engaged. She probably had a Babycham. With her parents she went on holiday to the Guest Houses of the Holiday Fellowship or the Workers Travel Association; later re-named the World Travel Association. Walks were organised, one ate at communal tables and socials with games occupied the evening. No alcohol. She cycled to school. From the age of thirteen she cycled with friends into the countryside north west of Hatch End. Pam played tennis at clubs. She played badminton and table tennis at home. Social life was visiting her aunts and uncles. When we were engaged and perhaps in early marriage we both went en famille to the Rutherfords, in Hendon. The high light of the evening was the indoor fireworks. A little brown pack which when lit and slowly mouldering would metamorphise into a snake twenty times the size of the original, a conical pack which transformed into a miniature volcano, assorted mini fountains of light, sparklers and clouds and clouds of smoke drifting around the room in which we sat crouched around the dining room table.